WEEK 10

January 8 - 14, 2007

Wooo, I am now into the double-digits for weeks. Someone pinch me as I still wonder why I agreed to leave family and friends for an undisclosed period of time to partake in the awe of a third-world country. Supposedly I was OK with this idea and somehow gained the approval of my bride. I must be dreaming.

This week has been somewhat mundane. We have finally caught up with the armor shipments and are now eagerly awaiting the next. This created a couple of lax days that we desperately needed to attend to personal issues. Our company underestimated our ability to install armor and now with many conversations to increase production has decided to double the shipments. Hopefully we’ll be able to keep up with that pace. My intent is to finish all the vehicles as quickly as possible and put them into the hands of the soldiers who need them.

I think I have cracked the code on IMing Kris. Remember last week when I asked you to stay tuned for my brilliant solution? Well, I decided to stumble down to the USO at 0530 my time or 1700 PST. There is hardly anyone in the USO during that time of day and my connection is superb (according to my computer 54Mbs, which is the fastest I have achieved here). Kris and I have been able to send pictures back and forth and carry on conversations about all kinds of things. This goodness only lasts until 0715, when a flight of soldiers descend daily upon the USO after arriving at the PAX terminal from an inbound flight earlier in the morning. Every single one of those soldiers has a laptop and jumps onto that precious wireless connection, bogging it down once again. Fortunately I have received about an hour and a half’s fix of Kris and the kids by that time and the reduction of connectivity gives me the signal to hit the DFAC for a little oatmeal and orange juice before heading down to the shop.

Now when I say oatmeal and orange juice, please do not think I am consuming those items because they taste good. I have always liked oatmeal and orange juice, but here the oatmeal is very bland, over-cooked (I didn’t know you could over-cook oatmeal), and is laden with some type of liquid (not milk) that makes it appear creamy and provides an odd after-taste. The orange juice is individually boxed (as are the other juices) from the world renowned citrus capital of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. There is brown sugar and raisins (dried up and hard) available for my additive pleasure and individually boxed milk from (you guessed it) Dubai. I normally forego the milk and just add the brown sugar and raisins because I’m not sure the milk really comes from cows as stated in the fine print on the box. It may have a portion of cow’s milk, but it tastes like it’s combined with goat, camel, and yak milk. I add the raisins because I like the crunch and figure I need a little texture that only comes from over-dehydrated fruit.

Once in a while I will request eggs to order. The scrambled eggs in the tray are formerly prepared eggs that are hydrated and heated. Blah! I will ask the egg Hajji to crack a couple of eggs on the grill and prepare scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese and ham. Actually the pork products we have here are pretty good. I can only assume that is because pork is shipped in from the States as not one pig graces the surface of Afghanistan. There is nothing I like better than watching the Hajji’s put ham in my eggs, then asking them for some bacon and sausage to adorn my tray. You can see the look of anguish in their faces as their rubber-gloved hands grapple with the three-foot long tongs. I deliberately hold my tray far enough away from them so they have to lean over the buffet of pork products covered by the four foot high glass and metal “sneeze guard” to reach my tray. Yeah I know, some of you may think my glee is inhumane or somehow cruel, but I love it. It’s apparent to me that our military cooks must prepare the pork products. You would think their aversion to being in the presence of and handling pork products would dissipate with time and proximity. Seemingly unfortunate for them, it hasn’t. It must be something they pray about.

Speaking of prayer, there is one Mosque on Bagram. It is a white square block building with a large, spired green dome and some ornate plaster and mud works that adorn the roof edge all the way around. There is this wall made of decorative concrete 1’ x 1’ blocks equi-distant from the building with an ornate iron gate. Obviously the Russians cared even less for the Mosque than we do and built buildings all around it when they occupied this base in the 80’s, thereby nearly completely enclosing it from whatever LNs who seek it out. There must be loudspeakers on or around the Mosque that I have yet to identify as they blare their prayer service out on them every Saturday evening. You can hear their service from anywhere on Bagram. Maybe it is their way of trying to convert us from our religious beliefs. Anyway, I’m not buying into it.

I ran a TV cable line into my room right where I wanted it today. I’m preparing the location for a TV I plan to buy off some soldier leaving here for home. Among the channels that I will receive are: The Discovery Channel, History Channel, AFN, and FTV. FTV or Fashion TV is the craze over here. It is a British TV station that shows models in photo shoots, on catwalks, getting dressed, etc. around the world. My first encounter with it was in Qatar although our SPG has it on frequently when AFN is not broadcasting football or basketball games. After midnight local, there is much female nudity on FTV. This is what truly makes it a hit over here. Anyway while in Qatar, I watched a rerun of last year’s Victoria’s Secret fashion show that was broadcast on Valentine’s Day. No nudity, but the women and the skimpiness of their clothing looked pretty good to me. Although I am a huge fan of the Discovery and History Channels, I may tune into FTV every once in a while.

I bought a used TV from a soldier leaving here. It is an HCT (Chinese) 20” flat screen TV that has a plethora of features. I only hope it lasts as long as I am here. Anyway I built a mounting platform and put it up against the ceiling backed up to the wall near the foot of my bed. The position is perfect and I’ve got to tell you the timing is sensational as I will be able to watch football this weekend from the comfort of my own room. Yeah, I know, sweet. How does it get any better? Well, I could be lounging on my leather couch with my wife and a cold brew mere inches from my right hand with Nikki and Cole running back and forth and asking me questions at key moments. That is the best!

Have I ever mentioned to you folks that REI mails to APOs and that they do it quick?! I have been shopping online at REI’s post holiday discount items and have ordered a few boxes of clothing. Not only are the prices pretty good (60% off on most of the stuff I’ve purchased), but they seem to know how to get that stuff here in five days via USPS. I’ve been so enamored with some of the prices that I purchased three fleece jackets (obviously in different colors and styles), a few technical shirts, and some Australian-made winter slippers (for tromping around in the snowy Outback, no doubt). I’m beginning to feel like I might survive (clothing wise) here in Afghanistan. Bring on the snow and cold, I have fleece and arctic wear!

I broke down and bought a DVD player today at the PX for $34 brand new. It is a jWin brand (U.S. Company) that is made in China. You would think it would mate perfectly well with my Chinese owned and built HCT TV; however the DVD remote confuses the TV. As an example, when I push the ‘Play’ button on the DVD remote, the TV changes channels. ‘Pause’ changes the TV volume and ‘Menu’ causes the TV to go directly to channel 7. There are other issues, but you get the point. I am now trying to deconflict the DVD and TV remotes with programming and such. What I probably should do is get one remote that is capable of handling both devices without the problems. Currently, I am moving my ass the five feet that I am away from both and press the appropriate buttons on these essential electronics. Although this is bothersome, it is certainly not a huge problem as I don’t have to hit the ‘Mute’ button every time the phone rings or a kid runs down to ask a question. I can watch a movie from start to finish without interruptions. I know, it’s surreal.

Just as Kris and I were getting comfortable with our IMing and emailing routine, the difficulty Gods threw a wrench into the machine. For some reason, the USO has changed its hours from all day long (24 hours) to 1000 to 2230 daily. I have been arriving at 0530 to chat Kris for an hour or two before heading to the shop. Now I do not have that option. I suppose it is somehow related to the guys here who sell internet connections for $35 a month. They must have strong-armed the USO into shutting down when it is convenient for me. Unless I can find a worthy work-around, I will go pay my $35 a month for dial-up. Another option is to drop $5K for a satellite dish that would give me phone and internet (I’ve discussed this with my company and they are looking into it). That would be a super connection and would probably be too good to be true. Since I am not crossing my fingers or holding my breath, I am submitting complaint cards to the USO. I plan to submit 25 a day until the hours are resolved. Yes, I am coercing others to do the same.

I just finished watching the SeaChickens lose to the Bears. It was awful. Seattle could have won the game many times over, but seemed to let those opportunities slip through their fingers. I don’t know who to be more disgusted with: Holmgren or Hasselbeck. It’s good thing I am not the owner. I would let one or both find a new home next year. The game came on at 2230 local Sunday night and by the time it was done, it was 0200. I figured I would watch the Chargers / Patriots game that followed it and finish up my weekly. I did rip my SeaChickens jersey off (that I wore all day) and toss it in a box to be mailed to Kris. Maybe spending the next six months in our closet will somehow help the team. As I watch the Chargers / Patriots, I find myself rooting for the underdog Patriots.

Hey BIL, the Chargers lost! I am really sorry to hear that. Now neither one of us has our local team in the playoffs and we’ll have to root for some team like the Saints. I’m picking the Patriots and the Saints in the Super Bowl. Oh yeah BIL, now that 24 is on again, is there a possibility you can DVR the episodes, download them to disc and send them to me? I would be completely appreciative!

Look at this; I am on page four again. I try to keep these things at the four page limit to make it a short read and small enough to pump through the electronic lines with minimal delay. I should be adding a teaser at the end of these things to generate more interest and inquiry in you folks. Something like: “Stay tuned for next week’s thrilling description of: MLK Day in Afghanistan, triple shipments of armor, and everyone’s favorite: Craig talks to Hajjis!”

Ciao,

Craig