January 29 – February 4, 2007
So much for the cold weather; it’s gone. We have been sweltering in the mid 40s to the low 60s this entire week. I have geared (and clothed) myself for Arctic temperatures through March and now we’re having this lasting heat-wave. It has been so hot that we now keep the big horizontal sliding doors of the shop open during the day. I’ve even contemplated cutting the sleeves off a couple of my expedition weight technical shirts. I guess I’ll just have to order some summer shirts from REI now.
With all this warm weather comes melting. Our glaciers now make up a concoction of earth and rock called mud. It’s everywhere and most of it is soupy with golf ball size rock chunks and flings everywhere even when simply walking down a sidewalk. The other morning as I came out of the shower smelling fragrantly like our disinfected water, I tip-toed across this log truck road between my hut and the shower container while wearing my flip-flops. I proceeded with absolute care and ease to prevent any of that mud to come into contact with body parts and or clothes. Obviously, my direct attempts at stepping on the high points failed as my foot slipped off my flip-flop and into the centuries old terra firma. I finally made it across this tropical forest and ran into my hut to get a couple of my bottled water. I eventually stood on the steps of my hut rinsing my previously bathed feet with Jeema bottled water to cleanse them once again. So much for showering.
Well, with Ed and Greg freshly departed, Dobbie and I decided to put our collective efforts together and get some work done. I mean, what else do we have to do? We appear to be doing pretty well as the two of us do not seem to get in each other’s way and rarely are we trying to use the same tools. Having the four of us working on the same vehicle at the same time was more difficult than two. If we had realized this while the four of us were here, we could have implemented round-the-clock shifts and performed a seamless operation similar to Maassen’s incredibly well-run JDOC in Iraq.
I have been blessed this week and last week with boxes of gifts. Mostly snacks and time-passing material, but one item from my parents-in-law really got my attention. They sent me a complete kit of hops, barley, mash, et al for an American Lager. I have been scrounging materials to brew beer and distill liquor, but have yet to complete the entire set up. The one item I do not yet have is an electrical heating source, you know, an electrical burner on the top of a stove. I am confident Doug can help me out on this one when he returns from Thailand. I have been looking for a bigger vat/urn to boil as my smallest bottle here is five gallons. I’ll keep you apprised of this venture.
Remember when we were kids (more than 25 years ago) when pop cans had pull rings (tabs) instead of todays bend, break seal, and bend back tops? Well, Afghanistan is like your more than 25 year old memory. They still have pull rings on beverage cans here. I really have no idea why unless it is the cost of updating a manufacturing process in a third-world country. In any case, McDonald’s is sponsoring a deal with Coke to give away free food and drink items and reduced price items (50% off and such). I have been hitting it big with these pull rings. I have four 50% off breakfast sandwich winners, two free Junior meal winners, and one free regular size Coke at participating McDonald’s. It would be really cool if we had a McDonald’s or even knew where one would be. With the exception of the Junior meal winners, which is written in English, the others are written in Arabic. This leads me to believe that I must transport myself to an Arabic speaking country instead of this one to claim my prizes. Short of doing that, I’m mailing them to Kristine. Maybe she and the kids can use them at a Mickey D’s back in the grand ole U.S. of A.
Dobbie and I started a new abdominal workout nightly that coincides with our weekly weight-lifting regimen and sporadic running. Author’s Note: for those of you now wondering who Dobbie is, he is Craig D, or CD, my partner here in amazing Afghanistan. He is not the house elf from Harry Potter. I call him Dobbie because it is less weird than calling him my name. In any regard, we decided it was time to turn our one-and-a-half-packs into a full-fledged three-pack. We acquired a local tutor who sports an eight-pack with an easy fifteen minute workout that he recommends we do thrice daily. What?! After performing just one session, I was in no mood for a second that day, let alone the next day. I fought off temptation and abdominalled a second and then third day in a row. I’m not sure how quickly I will see results, but I can certainly feel results now. At this point, I’m not really interested in using the remaining three human senses to alert me to any other results and am considering abandoning this approach, at least in the next few days. Don’t start calling me names yet, Mary, this is hard stuff! And besides, if it were only me that was experiencing incredibly hot, searing, ripping pains whenever I breathe I would consider myself less than fully fit. However, Dobbie is encountering the same and I believe we need a couple of days to really re-appreciate our one-and-a-half-packs!
You know, if you are going to work out, you should eat right, or maybe well. Eating right and or well here is a difficult task. As I have described before, there is plenty of food here and you can have as much as you want, you just have to get past the taste and health concerns. Monday nights here are chicken nights and they prepare chicken in a variety of ways: baked / grilled, fried, cut up and swirled together with some kind of noodle / confection, and finally in a sauce that is only appetizing to tribes in the Dakar. Chicken is generally considered fairly healthy as long as the skin is removed and it is not deep fried in Yak gristle. I have been avoiding it like the plague after a couple of attempts. There is no under-cooking meat here. If it is not blackened on the outside and dry and stringy on the inside, then it doesn’t get served. No one here is going to contract Salmonella. I keep eating fringe foods like rice, limited vegetables (that I recognize), and salads. I believe Afghanistan is turning me into a Vegan. Thankfully I’m wise to the approach and take daily vitamins to offset the lack of beef and beer. Someone set up a reservation at the Met Grill for all of us as I plan to take up residence there upon my return until I get my pH balance right.
Bagram is first and foremost an Air Force base. I say this because of the number of U.S. Air Force folks milling around and the number of jets and cargo planes that depart at wild times of the day and night. If I got out my kilometer tape measure and measured from my room to the end of the airstrip, I would be surprised if it was over 700 meters (not quite half a mile). Why this discussion now? Well a pair of jets just took off and it is after 2300L. I know this because of my proximity to the end of the airstrip and the thunderous noise and vibration. I actually feel like I am in the back of the plane that is taking off. They say you eventually get used to it and sleep right through the take-offs, but after a couple of months now, I still wake up every time aircraft depart. It was easier to sleep through incoming mortar and rocket attacks in Iraq than jets taking off outside your room. This comment comes from the same folks who wait for the snow to melt in satellite dishes.
I bought a refrigerator today for my room! You know the size; it’s that 1.6 cubic foot square size that holds a twelve pack at the most and it’s white. It’s also a 220V so I received a separate inverter and power strip with it for the tidy sum of $40.I picked it up off a soldier who was departing in a couple of days at a ‘Yard Sale’. I probably could have gotten it a little cheaper, although it is immaculate, but was in no mood to haggle especially since an Egyptian soldier was in front of me offering the dude $10 bucks. The Egyptian then offered $15 and once again the U.S. soldier said no. I was becoming irritated with the Egyptian’s bantering and finally asked the U.S. soldier what he wanted for the set-up and he replied $40. I threw a $50 out of my hand so quickly that it must have sounded like a bullet going by the Egyptian’s head and he ducked for cover. By the time the Egyptian soldier opened his eyes and started to look around, I was carting my newly acquired loot away muttering loudly about the strength and power of the U.S. It’s a good thing the U.S. soldier didn’t want $100 as I probably would have flung two $50s just as quickly around the Egyptian just to make the point.
Speaking of Egypt, how many of you knew that Charles Lia was going to Egypt for a site recon this week? And not just Egypt, but Cairo and the Valley of the Kings! The military is paying for this boondoggle because Charles is a Master Gunner and can immediately assess range worthiness at the mere sight of sand. His skilled senses make Spiderman look like an infant when it comes to Tank and Bradley gunnery. And he’s there because the Washington Army National Guard is considering doing a little gunnery in Egypt? I mean, can you imagine the fire commands: “Enemy tank in the open, 1800 meters, avoid the Sphinx, fire!” Somebody’s been watching too much ‘Team America’! Hooray for you Charles, I’m jealous! Good luck on buying a fridge in Egypt.
The Superbowl started promptly at 0345L here. Dobbie wasn’t interested in watching (blasphemous!), so I tuned in from the comforts of my bed. Instead of beer and chips and lavish snacks and foods to quench my football passion, I had tea, water, and granola bars. Watching the ads here isn’t the same either. There were no $2.4M ads making me laugh with animals and beer; instead we had safety messages and one in particular where the Sergeant Major even said they didn’t spend $2.4M on this ad. It was special and certainly something I won’t soon forget although I would gladly have traded this opportunity to be back there watching the game with all-you-all. At this point, I am glad the football season is over because of the odd times to watch games here. However, since our TV programming is funneled through England, I am bombarded all the time with advertisements and game schedules for Football, the English kind.
OK, since it is now Monday and I should be on Week 14, I’m closing this one down. I’ve finished living Week 13 abroad with the Superbowl and abnormally warm temperatures here. Tune in next week to find out if the weather has continued its heat wave, whether or not beer purchases are possible from a dry third world country, and if the carpet Hajji really does have a special deal just for me.
Aloha,
Craig
